Most Nobly Born and Especially Beloved Friend!
I can easily imagine what you must think of me. That you have well founded reasons not to think favourably of me I cannot deny. However, before apologizing I will first mention of the reasons which lead me two hope that my apologies will be accepted. I must confess that is soon as I left Augsburg my good spirits and my health to begin to decline. For the mirror I came to my native town, the more frequently did I received from my father letters are urging me to travel more quickly than usual, because my mother was not in very good health. So I made as much haste as I could, the more so as I myself began to feel ill. My you’re running to see my ailing mother once more swept all obstacles aside so far as I was concerned, and it enabled me to overcome the greatest difficulties. I found my mother still alive, but in the most wretched condition. She was suffering from consumption and in the end she died about seven weeks ago after enduring great pain and agony. She was such a good, kind mother to me and indeed my best friend. Oh! who was happier than I, when I could still utter the sweet name of mother and it was heard and answered; have to whom can I say it now? To the dumb likenesses of her which my imagination fashions for me? Since my return to Bonn I have as yet enjoyed very few happy hours. For the whole time I have been plagued with asthma; and I am inclined to fear that this melody may even turn into consumption. Furthermore, I have been suffering from melancholia, which in my case is almost as great a torture as my illness. Well, just put yourself in my place; and if you do, I shall hope for your forgiveness for my long silence. It was extraordinarily kind and friendly of you to lend me three carolins when I was at Augsburg. But I must beg you to bear with me a little longer. For my journey has cost me a good deal and I cannot hope for any compensation here, not even in the smallest way. Fortune does not favour me here at Bonn.
You must forgive me for taking up so much of your time with my chatter, but it is all been very necessary for the purpose of my apology.
I beg you not to refuse from now on your esteemed friendship to me whose most earnest desire is to deserve it, if only to a small extent.
With the greatest respect I remain
your most obedient servant and friend
L. v. Beethoven
Court Organist to the Elector of Cologne